Why we do what we do...........

I had somewhat of an epiphany tonight. It happened not on my run, but after my run. In the shower.
1) Training 2) Showers. Two of the best places to ponder life. While in motion, or while in stillness (as the warm water pours over you). Both very tranquil, serene places 'to be' that complement each other, preferably in that order.

You see, I had a wonderful ride this morning with my two ass-kickers- AKA Tammy and Mimi.....fast as hell....I suck wheel. But you know what, I ride HARD with these gals. When I race with them, they usually beat me. But who cares? The point is, they are kicking my ass. The payoff? I get faster. I prove to MYSELF that I CAN hang with them. And that, my friend, is WHY I DO WHAT I DO.

It also brought up a quite different reason after my run this evening. Work was a doozy. A long, terribly exhausting day both mentally and emotionally. I work with heart patients. I "rehab" them. I teach and educate, and console, and comfort. And sometimes, it is damn exhausting. But hell, what job isn't?

Looking forward to leaving on time, I ended up staying later at work to finish necessary duties. Although after looking outside and seeing a storm brewing away, I suddenly got excited for my little run I had planned after work. I knew, given how hard I worked this morning, I wouldn't be able to stomach much more than 40 min, and I swear, as much as I enjoyed having the beautiful evening rain soak me with each step I took, I was disappointed that I could only last 30 min tonight. Again, bringing me to
WHY I DO WHAT I DO

I love to feel my body move. I love to breath hard, feel my heart pounding. It reminds me that I am alive. That I am a human being. With many more talents and things to give in this world. Many more stories to be told and many more experiences to be had. So, freaking big deal that I ran 30 min. I will run 60/+ tomorrow. And the day after that, 90 min. Its OK to have a day like today where I don't do what I feel I am capable of doing. I am only human right. Perfection is not possible. But striving for it is.

Tomorrow I will board my flight for Dayton. Where I will get to run in the wonderfully humid and green of the midwest. Run by my old high school and do a track workout on the track I used to train for my first marathon. And most importantly, share in a great wedding of my stepsister. And see the most important people in my life- My family. That is the best birthday present I could ask for .


30 years old, bring it on. I am ready for you.